Thursday, March 26, 2009

Drivers

I've often wondered lately the drivers behind my actions.  I usually know the main drivers, but sometimes, I do things that I know will drive friends and family away from me.  There's this saying that some people are afraid of success so they sabotage what is sure to be a success before they experience it.  Sounds a little strange, right?  But it's really true.  Sometimes, I'm so afraid of what's sure to be a great, wonderful, fantastic experience that I ruin it without knowing I've ruined it until it's too late.  No matter how hard I try to overcome this trait, it sneaks up on me every now and then.  

I know I'm a work in progress, and in God's time not mine.  But sometimes, I get so frustrated with old tapes that play in my mind, negative tapes.  They're always there, and most days, I can just silence those negative messages.  When I'm stressed or tired or just in a "funk", which is not often especially for the latter, it's hard to silence those tapes as well as I normally do.

And on that note, I must go to bed now so I don't get too tired.  

-a-

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can so relate to this post. Been there, far too many times. Hang in there, tomorrow when you wake up, His mercies are brand new :- )

A said...

Thanks, Lori. It's a new day, and I'm doing ok. It's just very odd to be so aware sometimes of myself and what's behind my actions.

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